Escaping Yourself

 Your spirit crumbles

On the journey of the Great Escape

From yourself.

You change countries and women more than you change shoes.

Every country you crossed,

          Takes a sample of your blood

           And gives you a souvenir.

Every woman you hugged,

           Nibbles a piece of your spirit

           And gives you a memory.

You finally arrived,

Without a spirit,

To nothing.

Love in the Time of Corona

 

When we shook hands for the first time,

My heart removed his mask,

And rolled over your hand, 

Like an anchor.

I leaned down,

Like a ship that never docked.

I wished all days are pandemic, 

And we quarantine together. 

Forever.

....

I did not love you because you are perfect. 

I know you struggle, like everyone who cares.

Like everyone who chooses to open both eyes.

And tries to connect both sides.

Body and spirit.

Physical and metaphysical. 

Outside and inside.

Ambition and contentment. 

...

I jump and clap when you are able to connect both. 

And hug you when you fail.

Do not whip your spirit, 

If it could not be free from the burdens of your body.

This struggle strengthens you.

Beautifies you.

Keeps you alive,

Makes you human.

...

I wish 

I am happy, not a poet. 

You are my wife, not my muse, 

And we have a baby, not a poem.

But I did not love you in exchange for loving me

I do not love you - a selfish love; 

I do not want to pluck your rose.

I just want to come to the park,

Kneel down 

And water it.

Seeing this rose growing washes my soul. 

...

Look! 

Here, you are, 

At the gates of death, 

You kiss the entrants, 

And advise them to forget you.

....

Oh, merciful virus!

Without love,

Life is worth losing.

.... 

When you came, I did not pull you.

When you left, I did not hold you.

You took your berth, 

And ran away,

With my anchor.

....

Because my love is unconditional; I forgive you. 

Even I do not see anything needs to be forgiven.

Rather, I see everything deserves to be loved.

...

I am not Samson.

Take my hair off my head.

I keep your temple for my prayer.

Take your clothes off my closet. 

I keep your space in my heart.

Take your body off my hands.

I keep your spirit in my soul.

Take your pictures off my phone.

I keep your image in my mind.

Take your books off my shelves.

I keep your voice in my ears.

...

Take whatever you want

You cannot take my love off my heart.

It is my love, not yours.

I will keep it.

I will protect it from your attempts to ruin everything.

Where do you get all this cruelty?

...

I need history to back up my present moment. 

I need a memory to sweeten my bitter days. 

I need to prove to myself. 

Love is possible!

Do they worth?

 Oh, how cruel the world is

when you do not face anything,

wherever you turn your eyes to,

except just a back.

...

If you do not have this human brain,

Their knee would not be on your neck.

Your teeth would not disgust them,

And your claws would not scare them.

You would find someone reach you with a smile,

Bow to you,

Stretches his arm softly,

To pat your back

Or to give you a hug.

...

Should you put your brain under your feet to gain them?

Do they worth?

It is not love!

 Actually, we do not love people.

We just love the images we draw of them.

When the frame of these images get tight for them, they pass.

We call them fake, liars, fickle or cheaters.

Oh, Pygmalion!

Do you call the river cheater when it floods?

Do you call the plant lair when it grows?

We cannot love in a week, a month, or even a year.

Love needs problems, crises, fatigue, long familiarization, hard periods and difficult situations to be real.

In short, love begins when excitement ends.

You cannot love the ocean while you are on the beach.

You have to swim on the water, fight the waves, taste the salty water, injure your leg with rocks, and see the darkness at the seabed.

When you will return to the beach, you will see the ocean differently.

You would not see it as an ideal.

You have seen its faults, darkness and anger.

At this time, you can hate it or continue love it with everything in it.

Enthusiasm of the beginnings is not love.

Whoever did not dive in the ocean, he never loved it!

The just pandemic

 It is a weird point of human history.

There is an intense energy.

We could neither rise above it nor be in it.

It is a journey.

suck it up and be kind to yourself and others.

It is not about me or you only.

It is everybody everywhere.

The pandemic does not discriminate.

Everyone is going through the same depression and frustration.

Now only, we started to value meeting each other.

It seems like we ran away from God and He wants us to stop.

He wants us to kneel down for some reason.

It seems like we do not have another option.

We have to hold each other’s hand and kneel down together.

We have to hold each other and cry.

Kansas City, September 3rd, 2020

Current Moment

 "You pained when you look back.

You worried when you look forward.

What about ignoring past and future?

Just, try to enjoy your current moment!

You will see everything fresh.

You will be more productive, more consumptive and you will have more fun.

You will be natural monocular humans and blank slates.

Your life will be disciplined like a machine.

All your differences will disappear. 

All of you will be the same.

Same color.

Same voice.

Same style.

Same opinion.

You will not have deepness, memory, reference or value.

You will change your value according to the commercial ads.

You will determine your goals day by day.

You will never settle.

You will always move,

To gain profit and improve your livelihood.

Always, you will start from zero point and end there.

You will live in a world without a sin or life.. a world that is washed in physical and procedural enlightenment.

Everything there moves in a harmonic geometric shape and sterilized from stampede and controversy.

You will not feel any pain.

You will not be humans anymore.

You will be just walking individuals who do not have a center or purpose.

You will be completely free individuals who are able to neither communicate nor belong to a home or family.

Every Individual is a isolated island or uncompleted story."

...

They did not shoot your bodies this time, my friends.

They shot your souls.

Professionally, you are successful.

Personally, you are failure.

Outside, you are full.

Inside, you are empty.

Kansas City September 6, 2020

Ambition Vs. Contentment

You said, "Every man puts his feet on a solid land, 

Stretches his back straight,

And raises his face to the sky.

But there is no land for my feet.

Wherever I turn my eyes, wherever I may look

The waves push me,

Where I spent so many years fighting the wind.

How long will the salt crumb my skin?

I gained experiences and strength,

But I deserve better. 

I dream in a sunny day,

I lay down under the trees,

Calm and extend my limbs on the warm sand."

...

You will never find any land.

The waves will follow you.

You will roam the same seas. 

You will age in the same water;

You will grow gray in these same oceans.

You will never arrive to any land. 

Do not hope for other than the waves.

There is no land for you, there is no sand.

...

Look at your feet. 

You are on the beach right now, 

You are just looking at the other side of the ocean. 

You are always looking at what you do not have.

...

You are just fickle,

Bored and looking for mirage.

Yes, you deserve better. 

But you devalued it when you had it.

...

How many times you landed, and then complained:

- "The rocks injuring your legs,

-  And the sand burning your feet."

...

You never appreciate what you have.

There is no happier people.

There are just content people.

...

Your life is just lean years.

You never do what you love,

And you never love what you do,

Even when had the chance, you got scared.

...

When you love what you have, you have everything!

Far and Superficial

I see you are digging.

Do you think deeper is better?

It is not true.

You cannot absorb the world.

You are just a man on a planet of many planets of a galaxy of many galaxies.

Do not dig your grave.

You are alive only on the surface of the earth.

To be light is better than being heavy.

Watching the fire is better than being burnt.

Many things are more beautiful when you see them from afar.

Your home looks more comfortable when you look at it from an airplane.

The more you zoom in the less quality you get.

We lose our passion when we get close.

We lose our excitement when we understand.

Open your hearts to all, but keep its key only for yourself.

Kansas City, July 10, 2020

Escaping History

(1)
Why do you wake up before the sun to trace the steps you took yesterday and remove them from the memory of the desert?
Why do you run away from history?
Modernism is illusion.
Everything was history.
Everything is history.
Everything will be history.
Do you want to die without a heritage, as if you were never here?
Do you try to deny even your butterfly effect?

(2)
Why do you enjoy being silent and listening to me?
Why do you enjoy being invisible and watching me?
Do your animals give you the position of the provider and merciful God so you feel like you are responsible for saving others?
Do you imagine yourself as an angel at the heaven looking at people on the earth and feeling pity for them?
Yes, they are suffering, like your animals.
They are disgusting, like your animals.
They deserve your forgiveness, like your animals.
They are imperfect, like you!

(3)
Take people's eyes off your body.
Look at yourself naked without shame.
You will see that you are more beautiful than your image.
You will not need Botox, creams, lotions, hair dye or sleeping pills.
And you will not wake up before the sun.

(4)
God is watching you. You cannot hide your steps.
Angels record you. You cannot mute your breaths.
And my heart feels your pulses.
Take your space but you cannot take yourself from me.
I am your history!

Kansas City, MO 6/2/2020